How come it's only asked once a year, when choosing between tricks and treats is practically a lifetime job?

What’s with 2009? If people aren’t dying, they’re getting married: Is it the Universal Year Of Demise and I missed the flyer? Crazy. Either way, it also sends the message that You Are Getting Older And Older By The Minute Because The People You Know Are Moving On Just Like You, Only More Cinematic And Laughably [...]

"This is your Fiction section?" There was a baffling nod, followed by full-conviction Are You Fucking Kidding Me.

What’s one absolute way to tell you REALLY need to eat something? … When you hear this at a grocery store: “… the tender-juicy condom.”

I don't plan on changing the world by strutting as a lawmaker in hi-cut boots. I got my eye on simpler things... Yes, I am after World Peace too, but my nerves come first.

Save the colonialism plaguing the nation for all eternity, has this country become more confused to the point of hilarity as well? I’d like to pitch in and say no to a senile country: I shall never wear polo to a mall again. Ever.

Somebody sent me a “Which angel are you? request” in Facebook. I haven’t done anything to it yet but it significantly intrigues me. I dunno, do tell me, was I supposed to laugh? — Local news reporters seriously need a new subject to tackle, really really really, especially with showbiz personalities. “TV and print supermodel shares hard [...]

Missing the twisties.