9. My date is always six cities away.
8. I live in a poor country.
7. Torrents are friends.
6. Acid doesn’t kill. Or you simply have ridiculously tough skin.
5. ATMs should replace mailboxes. Soon.
4. The hairdryer deserves days-off too.
3. Mice urine.
2. Mark Wahlberg during his Underwear Days. And/or Antonio Sabato Jr.
1. I’m a mermaid. And Antonio Sabato Jr.